No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.

I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict.