Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.

I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.

Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.