The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!

Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like... every commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that's the connection they're trying to make.

I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?