God has this...hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" … And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.