Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."

You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.