Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!

I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

What does an atheist scream when they come?

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.