Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans."

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.

I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

All governments are lying cocksuckers.