Why is monotheistic faith better than polytheistic? I mean, either you believe - if you believe in, like, a magic person who can do magic things, why is it different - so different if it's Superman or the Fantastic Four?

The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old Milwaukee.

Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.

Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.

I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?

Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?

When you tolerate intolerance, you're not really being a liberal.