you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!

Karl Rove described Obama as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini, and making snide comments about everyone who passes by." Unlike George Bush, who's the guy at the country club who makes snide comments, and then passes out. Now this characterization, of course, was something Mr. Rove just completely pulled out of his bulbous, gelatinous a$$, but remember this is America, a land where people believe anything they hear.

Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today—Benedict told them he was going to resign because the Church needs a fresh, young face, somewhere other than a priest's lap.

My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!

Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.

Oh, America! I could never leave you! You're like my dog, dumb as a post but you make me laugh!

The electricity is back on in Baghdad. That is a very climactic moment in any country's liberation, when the lights come back on and you get a good look at what you looted.