The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

This is why rational people - anti-religionists - must end their timidity and come out of their closet and assert themselves.

I just don't see why anybody would vote Republican in the Army. If you want to support the troops, if I was a troop, I would say, 'You know how to support me? Don't send me to stupid wars.'

What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.

Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.