This is a powerful message from our government: we will not be intimidated by bombs; we will not be intimidated by poison; this is America, if you're a violent, paranoid lunatic, you must use a gun!

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.

You can't get saved if you don't play.

I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me are smart. So I go to the Playboy Mansion four or five times a year, but people think I go all the time.

If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.

Every asshole who ever chanted 'Drill baby drill' should have to report to the Gulf coast today for cleanup duty.

You are what you do. It's about actions.