This is a powerful message from our government: we will not be intimidated by bombs; we will not be intimidated by poison; this is America, if you're a violent, paranoid lunatic, you must use a gun!

A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because he'll have to go back to college.

Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it

I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.

You can always tell when Obama's negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he's missing his watch and his lunch money.

At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?