You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...

As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president.

Why is monotheistic faith better than polytheistic? I mean, either you believe - if you believe in, like, a magic person who can do magic things, why is it different - so different if it's Superman or the Fantastic Four?

The thing I don't understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who's supposed to pretend they don't want it?

During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Whatever good religion has done, it has come at a terrible price.

When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion.