If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
Bill MaherI want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t.
Bill MaherThe people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don`t know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.
Bill MaherAmericans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other countries have to use mud.
Bill MaherNew Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogramโto see what will happen if she has an abortionโyou also have to let her see a crying baby, a bratty five-year-old, and a surly teenager to see what will happen if she doesnโt. And you have to tell her it costs $204,000 to raise it until it turns eighteen, in 2028, where it will be a slave to the Chinese, in a radioactive world with no animals, fish, or plants.
Bill Maher