Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

I love Jesus. I just don't like the Christians who don't believe in what he says.

Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking, what he secretly wants to change. Anger with Bush was based on what he actually did. What Bush was thinking didn't matter. Because he wasn't.

A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.

The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.