Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he has to pretend to be a religious person himself. I say pretend because, I can only hope that someone as bright as he, wouldn't really believe that people can walk on water and ride a winged horse and rain frogs and you can change water into wine.

There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she's demanding that we invade 'Tsunami.'

I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.

The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.

There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'

I never hear terrorists say 'Merry Christmas,' only 'Allahu Akbar'.