The American people don't really care what side of an issue you're on. They just don't want you to act like a pussy.

Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag.

What mostly prevents black people from voting is that drug laws send them to prison, and then they can't vote.

You can't pray away global warming, and that's the difference between religious people and sane people.

Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind Barack Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of 'Old Yeller.' The state of our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'

White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their kids will turn into one of them. And now, through the magic of MTV, damned if it didn't turn out that way!

The food is out of this world!