We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.

The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you'll wind up with a lover.

I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.

Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?

Democrats are afraid of polls. Republicans aren`t afraid of polls. Republicans make polls. Democrats run from polls.

Only a Bush could answer a 'yes' or 'no' question two different ways and be wrong both times.

We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.