I'm not defending what Cory Booker said. I'm saying I understand why he has to kiss the asses of the rich people on Wall Street, because there's no other way to keep his city afloat.

Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.

Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he'd have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.

The answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach.

I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.

I'm definitely good. I'm not bad; I'm extremely honest, and I allow no bullshit to pass by my radar. And that will always get lots of people thinking you're a jerk. But there are people who appreciate total honesty and questioning of the conformities in our society, and I'm heroic to those people. And I should be. It's an indictment of the rest of society who doesn't get that.