Heroin may be bad, but it sure as hell hasn't hurt my CD collection.

In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.'

If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they are going to take away your gun, you're an armed idiot. If you think they're going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your God, you're Bill O'Reilly.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

The rebel army in Libya is just like 1,000 guys in Toyota trucks. The world is asking the question; can 1000 anti-government guys in pick-up trucks with small arms, take over a country of millions? To which I say, ask the Teabaggers.

Tea-baggers love the truth. They just hate facts.

Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'