It's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got 39% of the vote. He only got 36% of the working-class white people.

New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.

Lip-synching?! Let that be a lesson. If you are in Washington, D.C., and you open your mouth and another voice comes out, it better be the NRA, an oil company or a bank.

It's so childish, "greatest country in the world." It's like saying, "I have the greatest wife in the world. Not just the one best suited for me, the greatest wife in the world. And if you could have my wife, you'd kill your wife."

There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'

In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!