We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?

I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.

I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?

Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake country that was drawn on the map 100 years ago remains?

Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.

I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party.

I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex.