I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote.

Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't get that, power is a pretty good second one. And that's what religion gives to people. Power. Power is sex for people who can't get or don't want or aren't any good at sex itself.

Only a Bush could answer a 'yes' or 'no' question two different ways and be wrong both times.

I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.

Sometimes I'm dragging my ass out to the airport at 8 a.m. on a Saturday and I'm wondering why I'm doing this, but once I walk on stage I know why...because I'm addicted.