NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions..This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration...George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?

People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!!

My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!

So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.

Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?

Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!