If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.

Shouldn't we be against procreation at this point in time? With overpopulation and the strain on the resources on this planet? Shouldn't we reward people who don't spawn?

The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.