But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet the dogs, which are pretty much the same thing. What? They're sweet. They're loving. They're kind, but they don't mentally advance at all. Dogs are like retarded children.

What's going to be hard for the United States is that our policy for a long time has been a two-state solution; the Palestinians should have their own state. Now, the Palestinians are going to the U.N. and saying, 'We're having the U.N. vote to say we have our own state. Well, if that's your policy, United States of America, why are you vetoing it?' Which we will do.

If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.

Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.

This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?

Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?

You can't claim you're for peace if you're not willing to disturb it.