There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill MaherThe Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill MaherSince the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.
Bill MaherIf you came into the theater believing in the talking snake, it's kind of hard to leave the theater still believing in the talking snake.
Bill Maher