To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.

I'm a pessimist by nature. A pot head, but a pessimist.

You'd know if I was the de-facto leader of the Democratic Party, because you'd go down to Walgreen's and buy a pack of blunts.

Tt just seems to be human nature to seem to want to posit in another human being, qualities that you must know, in part of your mind, that human being couldn't possess because you don't possess.

Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you

If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

The thing I don't understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who's supposed to pretend they don't want it?