To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.

The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.

I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'

Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It's kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald's and not eat the fries on the way home.

We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.