I'm okay with it now that Obama’s in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is going would bother me.

New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts.

The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.

Laughter is sort of a natural truth detector. If you laugh at something, it's probably because there was some truth in it.

I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents.

March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!