Sometimes I'm dragging my ass out to the airport at 8 a.m. on a Saturday and I'm wondering why I'm doing this, but once I walk on stage I know why...because I'm addicted.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.

Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.

If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.

Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer. You know, i know you're not supposed to say this about elected officials, but I would pay to see Rick Perry defend himself against a school shooter with prayer.

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.