If a President must constantly remind the people that we're at war, then we're not.

They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives over there. Or, as Republicans here saw it, it 'fostered a socialist, anti-business environment that's worse than being dead.'

I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?

It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?

I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.

Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.