I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t.
Bill MaherIf I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.
Bill MaherTea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill MaherI ... would guess maybe about one or two out of five men is suited for marriage and probably four out of five women are better at marriage than being single and would like to be married.
Bill MaherI'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill MaherRepublicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if you had to have sex with them it would be over in an excruciating three minutes. It's just, - and from the headlines of the past year I gather the only sex they're really good at, is gay sex. Really.
Bill Maher