It's understandable why a minority that was treated as badly as blacks in this country have been for so long would, when they finally found themselves on top, brag about it and want to shout from the rooftops.

We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.'

Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.

New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was in the first place. Let alone his sexuality. What concerns me is adults who read 800-page books about magic schoolboys... and then try to talk to me about it. If I had the slightest interest in homosexuals with powers, I'd be a Republican.

Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'

But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?

Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.