This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.

New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the Reverend Ted Haggard, was outed for drugs and extramarital gay sex with a male prostitute. Or as Fox News reported it, 'John Kerry hates our troops'.

My policy is I am always more than happy to say, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." What I am not willing to do is take back what I said. Unless I am wrong.

Thanks [Donald] Trump for exposing evangelicals as 'shameless hypocrites'.

40% of homicides go unsolved. You know, it's not a very good record. And, also, 95% of convictions in America come from plea bargaining, which is often coerced. It's like we have the worst of both worlds. We don't convict the guilty enough, and we coerce the innocent too much.

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?

March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'