This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.

For the first time since 1979, we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Obama says talking to him is probably pointless, but it's a hell of a relief from Mitch McConnell.

The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.

I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.

If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?

We don't really have to make fun of religion - it makes fun of itself.

To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.