Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

The only good thing about fame that I've gotten is I've gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I've gotten into a restaurant when I didn't have a suit and tie on. That's really about it.

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual.

I'm just a potato that won't quit. I'm a potato with some legs. Some have eyes, I've got legs.

Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business.

Why would you get up there and bore people? I never have figured that out. These people are supposedly in the entertainment industry, and they finally get up there to that podium and they become the most boring people in the world.

Life is a game, and it's much more fun if you play it as your own game, so stay light and loose and relaxed.