Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Buddy Hackett [was] talking - this is Hackett, not me - about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families ... the look of absolute horror. He's going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It's just total horror, and the camera's still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, "Anything else, Bud?"

The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.

When I feel like I'm stuck, I do something - not like I'm Mother Teresa or anything, but there's someone that's forgotten about in your life, all the time. Someone that could use an 'Attaboy' or a 'How you doin' out there.

Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.

That's the reason I'm not the one that's dead because the attraction of the fast life is very powerful.

Something wild can happen to anybody and I caution anybody that walks out on the street, just settle your accounts before you leave the house every day.