I'd like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.

I'm related to people I don't relate to.

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

Planet Bog - Pools of toxic chemicals bubble under a choking atmosphere of poisonous gases... but aside from that, it's not much like Earth.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I'm a man of few words." "If you read more, you might have a larger vocabulary.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.