That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Cleveland is a really hard place, it's a very creative place, it feeds you creatively, but it's a very hard place to make a living creatively.

Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.

My guess is that the editor [Cincinnati Post] wanted his own Jeff MacNelly (a Pulitzer winner at 24), and I didn't live up to his expectations. My Cincinnati days were pretty Kafkaesque.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.