Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Garry Trudeau is the only cartoonist with the clout to get his strip published large enough to accomodate extended dialogue. It's ashame.

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

I guess I have a gift for expressing pedestrian tastes. In a way, it's kind of depressing.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

The problem with people is that they're only human.