I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!