Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.

CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you're done before you know it.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?