The only permanent rule in Calvinball is that you can never play it the same way twice! (Calvin)

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.

Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?

Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.