The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
Billy ConnollyI used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
Billy ConnollyI like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
Billy ConnollyWhy are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
Billy Connolly