I used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
Billy ConnollyPaddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"
Billy ConnollyI'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
Billy Connolly