I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

I was brought up as a Catholic. I've got A-level guilt.

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.