A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

The more you know the less the better.

I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.

Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.

Politically correct is the language of cowardice.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.