A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.

When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.

I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.