I'm a huge film star... but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f--ing minutes. I'm the only guy I know who died in a f--ing Muppet movie.
Billy ConnollyLife is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy ConnollyI used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
Billy ConnollyI always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
Billy Connolly