I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.

I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.