I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.

The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather.

Never trust anybody with only one book.

Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally, I think its bollocks!!

Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.

I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.

I've always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I'm where I belong.