Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"