Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.

I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.