Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.

[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.

I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.

Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.

If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.