I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?

The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.

I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it's not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?