My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.

I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.

Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.