I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

I don't aim to offend.

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.

Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.

When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.