Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!